The University 101 Guide To: Making Friends

So after a couple of weeks settling in to university I thought I might share my experiences with you bunch of cool people who have nothing better to do than to stalk me on the internet! I thought I would try and be as different as possible so I am going to do them in this jokey instructive way. Just for the record, please do not take any of this advice as it will inevitably lead up with you being like me. Which is definitely not a good thing!

I used to think an early start meant having to get up at 5.30am for work at 6... How uni has changed my life. An actual early start guys is having to get up for a 1pm lecture. So until you get to that stage I don't want to hear any more winging about having to get a bus to school at 8.30. Alight?

So I entitled this guide making friends. Now university is something of a friend making phenomenon. Naturally because it is university the best way to make friends is beer. Once there is a crate of beer in the kitchen, whoever is responsible for it will be forever known as the bringer of beer. 

What I also must add for the sake of boys making friends with girls is that there are lots of other things which do almost as well as beer. For example, girls like to use the whole can I borrow some sugar as an ice breaker apparently, or as has happened, "please can I have a can of that red bull so I don't have another sugar low... I'm diabetic." It wasn't even my Red Bull to give out. 

Oh and also I probably should put in this little article ways to not make friends... Don't swap people's Vodka for water, they tend to get quite angry. Although it is funny then to go up to people and get them to down the bottle of water vodka, to which they get half way down and then stop, going "What have you given me?" And also don't insult stranger's taste in music, as we found out when we crashed a kitchen party wearing Beatles t-shirts to which they replied some expletives against the Beatles. We left before plates started being smashed...

But as I sit here feeding the late risers cereal because they couldn't be bothered to get up for breakfast, I think so far I have done pretty well. I helped a girl do her washing (I mean that should surely not happen right?) and I have an empty biscuit tin, so I must have done reasonably well so far?

Thanks for reading, follow me on twitter: @peachy146